hope your new year
is
filled
with happiness
all things light filled
and
a
whole
lot
of
magic.

i received my invitation to reality in the mail
yesterday
but
i had to decline
due to
other
obligations.

december

wishing you the happiest.
may it be filled with laughter and joy.
may every day be equally so.

i want the beautiful angles of
winter
skies
without the cold.

i want to have
insight and
growth.
without pain.

i want to
understand others.
without first judging them out of
fear.

i want there
to be peace among
all people.
without bloodshed.

i want to look
in the mirror
and just see me.
without my past and all the sadness and loss that
came
with
it.

i want these things.

when i was young,
i thought in terms
of
black
and
white.

and then
life happened
to me.
with its
romantic love,
and career
and being
a mom
and
i
realized that
i had to add
the importance
of grays
as well.

and now these
days,
i only
want
to
think
in
color.

things i need to make lists about

1. reasons why i felt compelled to eat an entire bag of brussels sprouts for dinner last night.

2. reasons why i always manage to spill an entire cup of coffee down my shirt only when i am wearing white

3. reasons why i would even think i could wear white shirts and drink coffee at the same time (see #2)

4. places where i put things that i want to keep "safe"

5. reasons why i feel i need to make lists all the time

i'm pretty sure that
my christmas button is broken.
i keep
pushing it
and
pushing it.

and nothing happens.

no warm fuzzies
or holiday cheer.
my heart isn't bursting with
altruistic tidings
of
all things christmas to humankind.

i think the connecting wires
were
severed and pulled apart.

does anyone know a good repairman?

because i'm definitely in need.

the thing about
everydays
is
that they're
just
so
daily.

may god give you the grace
never to sell yourself short;
grace to risk something big
for something good;
grace to remember that the
world is too dangerous for
anything but truth
and to small
for anything but love.

so, may god take your minds
and think through them;
may god take your lips
and speak through them;
may god take your hearts
and set
them
on
fire.

amen.



william sloane coffin
adapted by h. stephen shoemaker

happy thanksgiving to you and your family with many blessings for joy, love and peace.

sometimes
when
i stand
very
still
i feel
the earth
spinning
underneath my
feet

or
is
it
that
the earth
is
still
and it
is
me
that
is
spinning?

once upon a time, there was a strange girl who lived in a fantastical place called colorado.
she was scared.
very scared.
because she was leaving her fantastical place for a different, other worldly place called north carolina.
she didn't know what north carolina would be like.
would they have tacos in north carolina?
would the people speak english?
and what about flush toilets? would they even have them or know what they were?

on her first day at school in her new world, she was seated next to a beautiful girl with soulful eyes.
she was tall and had long limbs and was the envy of all the other girls because she was so beautiful (and because she had big boobs).
but she was kind and her heart was true and she smiled at the strange girl and they became instant friends.

life took the strange girl and her friend with the long limbs through all kinds of adventures and they traveled together, laughed together, fought together and cried together.
they knew one another like only true friends can know one another.

and they still do and always will.

happy 50th birthday, sharon.
here's to 50 more wonderful years.
i love you.

"it's a good melancholia
day and i'm glad
because
i need
to have a good
melancholia day
every once in a while.",
she said.
"that way,
i'll know
how
to
be
happy
on the
other days."

,,,,,nicole desourdy

xo

dear dawn,

i was in your bed yesterday.
see me?
that's me.
in your bed.
as soon as you left, i was there.
in your warm bed.
laying on your warm covers,
with your husband.
and he loves me more than you.
because i'm cuter.
so there.

sincerely,
molly dodd

fortune cookie thursday

a. if you are in desperate need to tinkle
b. if you are holding a cup of very hot coffee
c. if you're trying to sleep
d. if you tell him to swerve to avoid the pothole

can you think of the many others i've missed?
happy thursday!

thanks heather for the link to format differently! xo

lately,
all this introspection
has been
making me feel
a
bit
tired
of
myself.

and by
acknowledging
this,
has hereby
become
introspective.

and now
i'm
even
more
tired.

dawn-o-lantern

have a great halloween!

i try to
remember
to walk
with
empty
hands
because
i never know
when
a
gift
might land
in
them.

i am heading on a plane to fly back to the place where i started.
a place that i haven't been to in a very long time.

even though i grew up in the south,
and call it my home,
i was born in rhode island.
and when i think of my very early years,
i think of my childhood that was rooted in
things like
the huge marigolds that grew taller than i was
the little brook that ran along the edge of our backyard
disappearing for hours to wander the woods
ballet classes that lasted all day on saturdays
catholic mass that was spoken in latin
and the beautiful colors of fall,
the fall,
the fall.

the address of the street that i lived on was 36 pleasant street.
it was there that my parents fought.
they fought bitterly
tearing one another to shreds
tearing me to shreds
on 36 pleasant street.

and so i am going back to this seemingly idyllic,
seemingly perfect
little childhood place....
this 36 pleasant street
this 36 un-pleasant street.
to wrestle with schizophrenic
memories.
and say goodbye.

taking pictures is savoring life intensely,
every hundredth of a second.
-Marc Riboud

fortune cookie thursday

happy thursday!

even when i look
for the truths
in life,
i seem to
only
find
the
ironies.

i spend a lot
of time
looking up
during this time of year.

fall
is demanding.
it wants us to look at it in
all its
regal splendor.

but the real beauty,
the quiet beauty
whispers beneath our feet.

always go forward and never look back.

especially if you
are walking
the
path
to
your
heart.

sometimes pausing at the threshold of the door is all we need to do to experience the beauty of what's on the other side.

happy friday to everybody!

this one's for you.
the you that turned 40 last week,
the you that will soon be turning 50,
the you that is struggling and stretching and growing through turmoil,
the you that is finding her way through motherhood,
the you that is growing up and making her life hers,
the you that is my rock and my strength.

and for all of you.

i thank you.
for so many reasons.

happy monday.

dear fall,

is it possible that you are here already?
you have once again caught me off guard.
you with your beautiful warm colors and your golden light.
your cool breezes that shiver the leaves off the trees.
how did you get here so quickly?
well, no matter
i'm glad to see you once again....
you and your wonderful smelling self.

if only winter wasn't looming behind you.

love,
d

sometimes i have dreams of big enormous full moons
the moon is so large that it can't even be seen in its entirety
because it extends far below the earth's horizon.
i stand in its orangey light
and look closely at all its imperfections.....
the craters and dips.
and i think
this is perfect in its imperfection.
and why is it
that i can see that in other things
and other people,

but not in myself?

can we go for a ride?
can we?
can we"
huh? canwecanwecanwecanwe?
puleeeeeeeeze?
please can we?
huh?
huh........
wait....did you say yes?
seriously?
okay, i'm ready now.
now.
now.
NOW!
come ON already.
you don't mind that i step on your head so i can see EVERYthing now do you?
no?
okay, that's good.

ooops.
drooled on you.
sorry.

back already?
gosh that was fun.
funfunfunfunfun!
that was SO fun!

so.....
can we go for a ride?
huh?
canwecanwecanwecanwe?
puhleeeeeeeze?

everything we see has the potential to teach us something.

when i was young,
absolutely no one i ever knew or met was named dawn.
and i hated my name.
i would ask my parents why on earth they ever named me dawn?
i learned my father was the culprit.
he named me after a belly dancer.

hmmm.

but as i've gotten older,
i've begun to embrace my name.
i guess you could say that i've grown into my name.
and sometimes it can be pretty fun.
recently, i was just thinking of all the fun things i could do with
the word dawn.
that i could actually interchange dawn with myself.
and all the things that i can do, be or describe.
like:

the me of a new day
the break of me
the crack of me
it me'd on me
me of the dead
the me of reasoning
the me of a new age
the me of a new era
the me of a modern age

and finally,
me. i cut the grease out.

not such a bad name afterall.
even if it did come from a bellydancer.

i'm not dead yet

i'm very nearly dead, but i'm not dead yet.
i didn't go on a vacation.
nor did i have any catastrophes in my life
or get eaten by a bear.
i didn't get kidnapped or
win the lottery.
i didn't tumble down the hole and have a fantastic adventure.
i didn't break any bones
or have any traumas
i didn't float away on a balloon
or get lost at sea.
no.
i
just
haven't
been
here.
i've been everywhere else,
but not here.
and i apologize.
because i have been quite slack.
majorly slack.
i get an A+ in the class of slack.
not that i've been slack in other areas of my life.
because i haven't.
and let's face it, we're all busy for gawd's sakes.
so i just don't even go there. naw, just plain not making this a priority. let's be honest. the photography thing and the life thing? they're taking my time. and as much as i enjoy this space, i do tend to take it for granted.
like now.
so that's it.
nothing earth shattering.
nothing that you can forgive me for.
just me.
being me.
not dead yet.

i want to laugh more heartily
when my world gets too serious.

i want to sleep more soundly
when my world gets tiring.

i want to think more logically
when my world seems chaotic.

i want to live life larger
when my world gets too small.

i want to reach out more often
when i feel i don't have anything left to give.

as i walk down the street
all the dogs
line up in their yards
to comment on my passing by
they run from one end of their fenced existence
to the other.

the sentries of suburbia

fortune cooke thursday

tell me
how far does the sky reach?
do you think that clouds ever feel competition with the sky?
maybe they show off just a bit at times?
for they know they can't compete with sky's limitless reach
to me though, they make up for it
with their dramatic allure.

bubbles....
i see your beauty floating everywhere.
you float around me like pixie dust.
if only for a fleeting moment...
i never want to see you go.
can't you just stay a little longer?

what's mine is mine.
what's yours is mine too.
so just hand over the tickle me elmo and no one gets hurt.

things that i currently own but would like to sell:

1. 10 pounds
2. free floating anxiety
3. debt ( i'm thinking of having a fire sale on this one)
4. many socks with no mates
5. furniture that the dogs have peed on on a regular basis
5. ants in my kitchen
6. weeds
7. ink pens that don't work
8. makeup bought compulsively on a whim that should really be in the halloween costume store
9. self-help books (i'm beyond help at this point)

if you're interested, please email me and we'll work out a deal.

have a great monday.

sooner or later, we all have days that we step in it.
here's to the days we don't.

happy tuesday!

dear little dog,

you make me laugh.
when i wonder about the day, you assure me that it's a good one.
your enthusiasm is contagious.
you don't realize that.
that's the beauty about you.
my friend sharon says that life is always better when it's lived with animals.
i agree.
thank you molly dodd.
my life is better with you in it.

love,
d

have a great weekend, all!
and watch out for those ladybugs!

people

i was shopping at trader joe's the other day and i was shucking some corn at the box that they provide for you, looking around at all the people buying their treats.
my eyes found a woman standing at the strawberries.
she had been standing at the strawberries for a long time.
i watched her method of madness as she went on a search and destroy mission through every single container of strawberries.
she opened each box
she rifled through each strawberry in each box.
picking them up,
smelling them.
then placing them back in the box.
a couple of strawberries dropped out and rolled across the floor.
she picked them up and placed them back into the container.
she finally settled on one box and left.
so i found a clerk and let her know that every one of their strawberries had been handled and sniffed.
she looked at me with a defeated look and said, "yes, it happens a lot...there's not a whole lot we can do about it. they get so mad when you say something to them about it." she went over to the strawberries and began to sort through them..clearing them out.

kinda makes me look a little differently at my produce these days.

every day is a different story.
today, i'm hoping for a comedy.

merry-go-rounds are not the most exciting rides.
with their around and around and up and down
in a tiresome, predictable way.
but they're beautiful in their own right.
a little freakish
a little garrish..
with their screaming bright colors and animals with manic expressions
imploring you to ride on them
they do the best they can within the confines of their poles.
a certain bizarre beauty.

sometimes i wonder if i can only think in terms of lists.
short.
simple.
to the point.
my brain it seems is always on overload.
too much is crowding in all the time.
leaving me inert.
i'm reluctantto talk to you on the phone.
i fear i wouldn't be able to focus.
and then i'd be lost in the conversation.
and you'd know i wasn't paying attention.
not because i don't love you, but because i'm simply overwhelmed.
over.
whelmed.
so just send me a text.
txt.

xo

one day

i will skip instead of walk
i will yank out every automated answering machine i can find
i will wear nothing but orange
i will remember to smile more
i will paint my toenails rainbow stripes
i will think before i speak
i will wear an un-ironed shirt
i will be unpredictable
i will order only desserts at every meal
i will not care what anybody else thinks
i will throw my cell phone into the ocean
i will ride in a helicopter
i will live without trying

one day.
i will.

If our country is worth dying for in time of war let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace.
Hamilton Fish

happy 4th all!

today:

beauty
warmth
long shadows
blue sky
compassion
brilliant colors
laughter
frustration
sincerity
understanding
love.

those are all the things i saw in my mind's eye today.
those are the images that i didn't capture with my camera.
but they will be forever ingrained in my brain.

happy wednesday, all.

happy weekend everybody!