the dawn of an older age

dear self,

today is your birthday.
yes, i know you can't believe you're 48 years old today. i know you wonder where all those years went and if you've done anything at all in those years that make any difference to anybody. i know you're still trying to make sense of your life even after all these years. i know you struggle with what you'll do with the next years ahead of you and what they will be like... all those middle aged fears and questions come tumbling in on you.
i wish i could give you some sage advice, but i can't. i wish i could tell you exactly what's ahead of you and that you'll navigate it all just great and everything will be wonderful.
but i can't.
what i can say to you is this:
it's pretty safe to say that you're not going to win a nobel peace prize or discover a cure for cancer. you're not going to become the queen of the universe or single handedly save a continent from famine and disease.
maybe you may not ever remember which side of the car your gas tank is on or learn how to actually iron the wrinkles out of a shirt.
but, there are people in your life that really love you. and you deeply love them as well.
and that's all that really matters. because when things are not what you'd like for them to be, they will still be there loving you through it.

so, that's it.
that's all i got.
nothing earth shattering, but there it is anyway.

oh, and one more thing....
happy birthday.