when i was young, i was told by other kids that i was weird because halloween was my favorite holiday.
i'm still weird.
and it's still my favorite holiday.

what's yours?

have a happy halloween and a great weekend!

fortune cookie thursday

line dry only

do you suppose autumn leaves should be washed on the delicate cycle?

"love you more than chocolate cake"
"love you more than a soy latte"
"love you more than sleeping in"
"love you more than weekends"
"love you more than a shopping spree at forever 21"
"love you more than vacations"

these are the text messages that the p.b. kid and i send to each other every morning.
sometimes saying "i love you" just isn't enough

beautiful

my friend nancy honored me the other morning by letting me take pictures of her beautiful self...beautiful inside and out.

thank you nancy. i love you.

dear self,

today is your birthday.
yes, i know you can't believe you're 48 years old today. i know you wonder where all those years went and if you've done anything at all in those years that make any difference to anybody. i know you're still trying to make sense of your life even after all these years. i know you struggle with what you'll do with the next years ahead of you and what they will be like... all those middle aged fears and questions come tumbling in on you.
i wish i could give you some sage advice, but i can't. i wish i could tell you exactly what's ahead of you and that you'll navigate it all just great and everything will be wonderful.
but i can't.
what i can say to you is this:
it's pretty safe to say that you're not going to win a nobel peace prize or discover a cure for cancer. you're not going to become the queen of the universe or single handedly save a continent from famine and disease.
maybe you may not ever remember which side of the car your gas tank is on or learn how to actually iron the wrinkles out of a shirt.
but, there are people in your life that really love you. and you deeply love them as well.
and that's all that really matters. because when things are not what you'd like for them to be, they will still be there loving you through it.

so, that's it.
that's all i got.
nothing earth shattering, but there it is anyway.

oh, and one more thing....
happy birthday.

could it be possible?

it's a miracle, but i think i'm finally getting some of this photography stuff down.
just a little bit.
i'm not feeling totally confident about it, but i think a few basics are actually seeping in. it just seemed to make more sense last night during class. i've been waiting a while for that to happen. i'm probably the most undisciplined person in the world and being forced to use my camera without benefit of pre-set modes has been the best thing for me. i actually know how to manipulate settings manually and can guess with some accuracy how they'll turn out. plus it doesn't hurt to have an extremely patient and sweet brother in law who just happens to be a photographer guru and will answer my endless questions. i thank him for that

living proof that you can teach an old dog new tricks..

this guy had mad skills with the balloons. plus a great scottish accent, a way with a story and cute legs. he asked if we knew what haggis was. we asked him if he could make us a haggis out of one of those balloons. i'm sure it would have tasted better than a real haggis.

i should have learned how to make balloon animals.
maybe i still will.
i don't have a scottish accent tho.
and i'm definitely not wearing shorts, either.

self portrait tuesday

october's challenge is mirrors


dear dawn,

i don't take your words from last week personally. i know you're having a little trouble wrapping your brain around the fact that you're going to be another year older in just a few days.
so in order to help you prepare for the big day, i've decided that i'm going to reflect you in the finest birthday regalia a girl ever had until you warm up to the idea of this birthday thing.

your friend,
the mirror

p.s. i was built in 1936 so i'm way older than you. it's really not that bad

will you take my picture?

whenever anyone points a camera at me, i run. fast. but when i'm out shooting, total strangers walk right up to me and ask me if i'll take their picture.
i'm honored that they ask me. plus it's so much fun to take pictures of people.
wouldn't it be boring if everyone looked the same?

"a child is always able to live in the present moment"

Thich Nhat Hanh

heidi is someone that i am truly enjoying getting to know. she is an amazing woman with an amazing story.
and she tagged me.
i have never been tagged before, so i will do my best.

top 4 wishes
i wish our world was a peaceful one
i wish i could get the hang of learning this technical photography stuff (it's killing me)
i wish i understood myself better
i wish our work weeks were two days and our weekends were five days

4 places i want to travel to
it's so hard to name just 4 places, but in a broad sense i would name:
asia
south america
europe
africa
specifically, tokyo is the number one place i want to go to

4 careers i would want to be involved in
gallery owner
professional photographer
graphic designer
journalist

4 things i want God to say at the gates of heaven
"here's your soy latte...and don't worry, your cup will refill automatically."
"so i understand you have a few questions for me? let's talk."
"you were a fairly decent human while you were living down there on that earth plane."
"your dad is over there and he can't wait to see you....oh and by the way, your grandmothers are all over there too and they have the cribbage board all set up and ready for a game."

more lessons i've learned from middle age (so far)

1. speaking your mind is a good thing only if you actually have one
2. living well takes on a whole new meaning the older you get
3. the person that pulls in front of you will invariably drive at least 10 miles below the speed limit
4. it's better to be kind than right
5. hotel walls are thin
6. these will always be the best days of our lives
7. people actually can see what you're doing in your car
8. intuition is under-rated
9. by the time i can find my phone, it will have stopped ringing
10. the older i get the less i know (i can't say this one enough)

one must never, ever, ever park in the middle of a soybean field.





i am always on the hunt to catch a photo of the cows in the nearby pasture when they're taking a little dunk in the pond. my sister-in-law loves that funny scene too and i have tried my best to capture it for her but with no luck so far. saturday morning i was passing by the pasture which i do practically every day and the pond was clear of cows, but there was one lone cow standing next to a tree. i thought i'd stop and get a picture of him because he looked so regal standing there looking straight towards the road, standing proudly, tail switching. but as i drove by looking for a safe place to stop, i noticed that another cow was laying right next to him on his side. i didn't see him at first because of the tall grass. i knew that he was probably dead.

there's no telling how long that sweet cow had stood there next to his friend. watching over him. did he witness this passing? how do animals know?
when i looked out to the far pasture, i could see the farmer coming with the flatbed truck.

i hope that when that cow dies, someone will stand next to him just as he did for his friend.

some fall love for jenica

when the trees shiver their leaves to the ground.

p.s. we're supposed to reach 90 degrees today. i'd almost welcome your snow :)

self portrait tuesday

october's challenge is mirrors



dear mirror,

sometimes it's easier not to look into you.
it can be very difficult at times.... something i'd rather not do.
looking anywhere but at you....fleeing from you.

i'm doing the best i can with our relationship.

sincerely yours,
dawn

"mondays are the potholes in the road of life"
tom wilson


here's hoping that you don't hit any today.
happy monday.

1. redlights 2. chairs at smelly cat 3. salvador deli 4. high wires


with all the golds and oranges going on out there, i figured a little shot of blue and red couldn't hurt.

a brilliantly sunny day

just beckons for a kite.

how lucky that there are little girls around to fly them.

there's nothing like a photography class to make you feel not so very bright.
i am learning how very, very not so bright i am.
you would think that after all these years of using a camera and the many hours spent in the darkroom when i was younger, that i would remember at least something about photography. that i would be able to wrap my head around the basics of aperture,shutter and ISO.

but i am going to beat this thing i tell you. i don't care if i pop every neuron in my brain. i'm going to actually learn something technical.
for a change.
and meanwhile, i'll be playing around with taking pictures of trees in the dark.
much to mr. ntm's dismay.

not gonna

whatdja say?
time for a nap?
uh.uh.
nope.
i don't wanna
an i'm not gonna
an' you can't make me
cuz i'm cute

a flock of clothespins flew right into my shot of the seagulls

:)

self portrait tuesday

october's challenge is mirrors



it's like looking in a mirror.
and not only that, but even just walking into my daughter's room teleports me right back to the 1970's... the clothes all over the place but mostly on the floor, chocolate scented candles, peace signs, headbands and hair stuff, scads of makeup and paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling.

without even realizing it, she is reflecting back my teenaged years to me.

i hadn't made an apple pie since last september. the month my grandmother was born. the month that she died. and now a whole year has gone by without her.

i knew i could always find homemade apple pie on her kitchen counter no matter what day of the week it was. and i always knew that it would be the best apple pie i had ever tasted. my apple pie can't even come close. but it gives me a goal to aim towards. in her memory.

gram's swedish apple pie recipe

fill a 9" pie plate 2/3 full with sliced and peeled apples of your choice. sprinkle with 1T. of cinnamon and 2 T. sugar. in a separate bowl, combine the following:

3/4 cup melted butter
1 egg
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup flour
pinch of salt

pour batter over sliced apples and bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes

fall is not meek and gentle.
fall is showy and magnificent.
it loudly requests that we take notice of it while it shows us its glorious colors and dramatic sun angles.
it wants to be seen.
and it demands that we pay attention to it.

sweet girl

when you grow up, will you remember this day? will you remember that you sat up so straight and true in your chair and placed your cloth napkin in your lap? that you tried so hard to be grown up too just like all the grown up girls you were sitting with? will you remember that you soaked in every little thing that they said? and every little thing they did?
how will the way they acted influence how you act when you grow up?

will you know that i loved watching you this day? and i studied every little facial expression you gave as i wondered about you and the kind of person you will grow up to be?

it feels like this political battle is never ending to me. the election can't come soon enough. i've pretty much reached my happiness threshold with it all, but this did make me smile.

Blue Hydrangea

Just like the last green in a colour pot
So are these leaves, withered and wrecked
Behind the flower umbels, which reflect
A hue of blue only, more they do not.
Reflections are tear-stained, inaccurate,
As if they were about to cease,
And like old blue notepaper sheets
They wear some yellow, grey and violet,
Washed-out like on a children's apron,
Outworn and now no more in use:
We contemplate a small life's short duration.
But suddenly some new blue seemingly is seen
In just one umbel, and we muse
Over a moving blue delighting in the green.

Translation © by Guntram Deichsel, 2003-12-03 and written by
Rainer Maria Rilke, July 1906, Paris

healing

we all need a little once in a while.
sometimes even more than a little.
and sometimes even more than once in a while.