it was impossible to know
if it was the light filled world
that moved them to dance,
or their dance that moved the
world to
fill
with
light.

if i walked through the gate,
would i find the quiet place?
would i find the place where all things make sense?
the place where i could understand why things are not always the way i want them to be,
but the place of resolution that all things are as they are?
and if i didn't walk through that gate,
would it be okay if those answers were not there for me?

i don't know if i can walk through that gate,
and
i don't know if i can't.

couldn't i just always
live in that little sliver of time
where the trees are perfectly lit up with their fall colors
and the sky is that soft cyan blue?

the early morning light
is the light
that
runs through my veins
and
fills me with
the quiet hope that
all will be well.

the late day light
is the light
that i breathe
in,
and fills me with
the assurance that
indeed...
all was well.

he asked me if i would take a walk with him and so i did.
we walked for a very long time
through all four of the seasons many times over and through mountains of patience
and
compromise and
crazy.
sometimes my feet would hurt and blister and i complain,
but he listens to me and supports me while i look for a band aid.
and
he always reaches out his hand to help me back up when i trip and fall
and smiles at me lovingly.

and then we walk some more.

people have told me many
times,
they worry that
if they started to cry.....
they would never stop.

but what they don't realize,
is that every tear that falls is not
just from their eyes,
but from their heart.
and their heart is like a sponge....
it can only hold so much sadness
before it gets too heavy
and must shed its weight.

if i sit and think about things,
then i feel guilty
that i've wasted time thinking
too much
and
not doing enough.

when i do a whole bunch,
then i feel guilty
that i haven't slowed down
and given more thought before
i acted.

so i was thinking that it might be good
to think about my thinking time
as actually doing something....
i'm thinking.

and to do my doing time as
a way of clearing my mind so
that i can think.


most times though,
i forget what i was thinking about
and usually can't remember what it was that i was supposed to do
anyways.....

dear universe,

please let me cross my bridges with confidence.

let me pass with grace
and integrity
on my walks across.

may i always give myself permission
to stop and look behind me
to measure how far i've come,

may i not let how far i need to go
intimidate me or keep me from trying,

and...

may i always have a super cute outfit to wear,
so i can strut my stuff in style.

amen.